THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

Sometimes in life,the good,bad and the ugly seem to happen all at once,you think all has fallen into place ,you think I am finally at peace,but just when you are just laying down your head to rest,something just happens,yes you are happy but at the same time you have to worry about something else.

I have been at such place a lot of times in my life,but one thing which has kept me through is the title of today’s blog,every little opportunity i get,i just scribble it on any piece of paper i see around,if you get into my room now,its on every free piece of paper,i even have it as the wallpaper on my phone,just to remind me that i am not in this alone,that He will carry me through it all.

The good being i now have a job,the bad being that i have not been to work for some days because i have no been feeling too well and the ugly being that the weather here is just not agreeing with me,my chest hurts and breathing is difficult,all these happening all at once.I  do know one thing though He is the shepherd and i am His sheep

IT’S NOT FUNNY

I just got off my facebook page and i must say, i am really really really pissed,what is the problem you might ask,well while moving around,i decided to go to my cousin’s wall,you see he has this video of a lady Rita, by name, that was in the KOKO MANSION reality show,this video which i believe a lot of Nigerians have seen,shows when she was being asked a question and her response,if you have watched it, you would know, that was no response, but words just plucked and strung together with no sensible meaning to make a sentence.My kid sister had told me about it last year,but i had not seen the video,i finally got to see it when i moved to Milan,to say i was disgusted would be making light of my reaction that day,i kind of forgot about it till i came across it on my cousin’s wall,i just decided to read the few comment people had made about it and that was when i got really pissed,in generality they all found it funny,don’t get me wrong i enjoy a funny joke and laugh at all things funny but at times we should draw the line on what is funny and what is embarrassing.

I am made to understand that she is an undergraduate, meaning she has gone through primary and secondary education and still cannot string her words correctly,do we realise that thinking that this is funny we actually let people who are not Nigerians thinks this is how we all are.Just before you say i am self conceited let me just tell of an experience i had on my third day in Milan.

I had just arrived and was trying get my paper work done and trying to register at school and as you know Italians don’t speak English,so when you see someone who speaks it,it’s like a life line has been thrown out to you.I needed to get a phone and a phone line quickly,so i was directed by the school where to buy both,on getting there ,i was browsing through their collection and trying to make a decision, at the same time wondering how i would communicate to the shop assistant when i finally make it,out of the corner of my eyes i noticed a young African guy and his white friend staring at me.I  am used to such things so was non pulsed,the African walked up and asked if i was from Senegal which i answered no(once you are above 6ft and you are black you must be from Senegal,that’s the way it is in Milan).He told me he is from Ghana and i was like thank God one English speaking brother,he has lived in Milan most of his life so he knows the language,so he basically turned to my interpreter ,as the shop assistants were trying to get my order,we got talking about a lot of things,then out of the blues he just dropped a bombshell ‘You know you speak good English for a Nigerian’ and I'm like, what did you say? he then went on to tell me about meeting and knowing Nigerian that don’t speak English  very well and that basically all we speak is pidgin.I then took my time to educate him that Nigerian speak good English but that to majority of us the pidgin English is like a melting pot as Nigeria is a very large and diverse nation with a lot of languages,the pidgin kind of brings everything together,i also him told that i was not the exception but the rule,i said as long as you have gone through primary and secondary education then you should speak  English well.

You can then imagine my horror and disgust when i came across the said video and some of us find it funny,really should we? Have we gotten to the stage as a nation where an undergraduate speaks like that and we find it funny instead of being embarrassed and this video i believe was shown on international TV,we should learn how to project positive things about our country,don’t allow others think it is only those that school abroad that speak well and i am not talking about having an American or British accent.My point is we really need to re-evaluate the things we let out as a nation to the outside world and most importantly the things we should take a positive stand on.

There i have said my mind maybe i can now calm down.

That’s a first,two post in one day.See you later

CIAO

THE HAND OF GOD

As I sit down in my room,facing my laptop and shedding tears(i seem to be doing that a lot since i moved to Milan) I ask myself,girl what is wrong with you.My family tell me i cry at the slightest thing,notice i did not say provocation,but i would say i see myself as the girl who is hardly touched by emotion,what others would normally jump up about,i would just say ‘Ok what’s next.But maybe there is some truth in what they say or maybe i have a dual personality,but why was i crying.

I believe you must have been following the story of the Chilean miners who had been trapped underground when their mine collapsed ,I first came across the story when they just found out they were still alive,and then i read that they might be in there up till the Christmas season,normally the first thing that came to my mind was how would i feel if i was one of them in there and secondly if i was a close family member.Then I read they were drilling a tunnel to get to them ,at this point i decided i was not going to follow the story anymore,reason being that i was getting too attached to it and having watched so many American movies  in which some rescue attempts have not ended so well,i just wanted to save myself the emotional stress.That was not going to happen as long as I switched on my laptop and logged on to the internet,I just seemed to run into the story,so i would say i was unconsciously following the story by just reading the headlines.Then I saw the headline that the digging had been completed and they were putting a shaft in to try in get them out by Wednesday (usually i am very thorough when i talk about something but you can see from my bad reporting that i was really trying not to follow the story) I was like thank God. Now comes the hard part,you know the part in films where the rescue is going on fine and then something just goes wrong and someone dies,yes that part,well i just said a short prayer for them and really did not think about it.

I said I was not going to read about it again,till I could see they were all out safely,but alas I logged on and there was this headline on yahoo news ’CHILEAN MINERS TASTE FREEDOM AFTER MONTHS IN HELL’,I quickly clicked on it to read,as i entered the site, a link came up ‘click to watch video’ I said to myself,girl you don’t need to cry now so don’t watch just read,half way through reading I was in tears  and that brings me to the topic of today’s blog.

A particular miner after being pulled out made a statement ‘I have been with God and with the devil.I fought between the two.I seized the hand of God,it was the best hand.I always knew God would get us out of there’ This is from Yahoo News UK&IRELAND.Those words set me off,God’s hand is the best,when it seems that all is lost ,when it seems that you can’t just move forward or back,when you are in that dark tunnel,when it seems that help is so far away,when it seems that your existence is in the hands of mere mortals,when your mind rages with thoughts of ‘what if’,when you are not sure of what the next day brings,when you just can’t hold on much longer,when you have two hands reaching out to you,one says give up,after all, what good will it do if you hope and the other says ,what good will it do if you do.

Faith and hope are what keeps and oils us in our trying times,but most importantly it is who we decide to put our trust in and total dependence on that guides us through those times,that miner could have chosen the path of least resistance and given up instead he chose the part of hope and faith in God,10 weeks underground is no joke,a lot of sneaky thoughts will enter your mind and you start to question the very existence of everything,I cried because God was speaking to me,NO SITUATION IS TOO HARD TO FIX.When i remember how their story started and the doubts i had for them,i just thank God that someone in there decided to seize the right hand and i intend to do just that.

SEIZE THE RIGHT HAND’THE HAND OF GOD’

CIAO

INDEPENDENCE

Yesterday was Nigeria’s Independence and though i am not presently in Nigeria,i would say i was kept informed of all the activities that would take place that day via blogs and other forms of the media.I thought the Nigerian Embassy here would do something but nothing like that featured on the website,so the few Nigerians I know here just resorted to wishing ourselves Happy Independence.

I came home and just decided to browse a little,lo and behold,a bomb blast in Abuja and rumours of clashes in the north,i quickly called my kid sister who is schooling there,she had not heard about the bomb blast or the rumours,so i just told her to be careful,sent a message to my cousin resident in Abuja asking if he was alright and then just prayed for their safety and those of fellow Nigerians.Later at night my mum called to wish me Happy Independence,i don’t think i replied to that,because the next thing i asked was about the blast.This was her reply ‘My dear,it was a nice celebration the devil just wanted to spoil it for us’,that kind of shut me up,which brings me to the crux of this post,why are we Nigerian’s so negative about our country especially if i dear to say ,those in the Diaspora,we seem to think that leaving our country to the white man’s land gives us some utopian power and thus we can just say anything,who knows i might just be talking now because i just got here,i might turn into them after a long stay here, who knows ?

Nigeria is not where it should be,i agree, i don’t want to be abroad monitoring events in my country and calling to tell my kid sister to be careful because she has no internet or ways of getting information in her university campus up north,i don’t want to think of our bad health care,road security and all the problems that plague my country,no i don’t, but i will not be among those who will add a nail to a coffin that is already tightly closed,sad i should use that analogy,i would rather help to dig up that coffin and remove every nail inserted into it and free that living being that has been in there.

A being that has been held bound by corruption etc,that being carries within it great scholars,writers,poets,musicians,entrepreneurs,fashion designers,inventors and what have you,a being that knows to keep striving against all odds,that is Nigeria.

I will make my little contribution to representing my country well in this foreign land,Nigerian females do not have a good reputation in Italy but i chose to be different and so do other fellow Nigerian female student and workers i know,we need to take one step at a time and believe that we are capable of good things as a nation and as individuals,and that is my problem with all this bloggers ‘THEY DO NOT BELIEVE THAT WE ARE CAPABLE OF GOOD THINGS,’until you believe in yourself no one will believe in you.

Nigeria is a great nation,what has shaken some countries to their roots has occurred in Nigeria and we are still standing against all odds,to some we should have been forgotten history,but we are still here ,we’ll get there, but we should contribute positively to our great nation.Do your own good piece and i do mine and collectively all our pieces will come together to form a large piece.

As i leave you i wish all Nigerians Happy Belated Independence  CIAO

 

P.S. To all families who lost loved ones,may God give you the fortitude to bear the loss.

NOTHING IS ACHIEVED THROUGH VIOLENCE

NOT BLOGGING

I have not blogged for a really long time, classes have commenced and i really don't have enough spare time on my hands cause my pattern making class also commenced.At last i can now say that i am om my way to being a fashion stylist,i am really enjoying myself now,though its stressing i love it,these are the steps towards a destination.
I have a lot to write about , i started this blog to chronicle my life as a Nigerian female in Milan,i will try to do justice to that from now on,at least i will try to blog twice a week about the things,i have seen and events.
Milan fashion week has started and i am hoping for a free show as shows are strictly by invite,almost got into Frankie Morello's fashion show(as a dresser) but missed out because some vital information was, i would say 'lost in translation',all these people who claim to speak English but don't know zit caused me my first fashion job,well that is a story for another day.
We are now four Nigerians at my school,three ladies and a guy who just joined us this month,i am so happy, at least Nigerians are representing positively in my school.Got to go now,have pattern classes in the morning tomorrow.CIAO

CLASSES

School has started and I went for classes today,it was fashion drawing and I can tell that after a month of not doing any real drawing ,I was a bit skeptical of how my first drawing would be,well let me just say that this will be the first drawing I have sketched that my instuctor would ask me to repeat,can you imagine,holidays are not so good sometimes,but i expect to be back in my groove by my next drawing.
I think autumn is upon us,today was really quite cold and I decided to be a brave girl and not go out with my jacket or a sweater,will never try that again.Nigeria is a tropical country and even back home I get cold easily,so you can understand how i felt today,one of my mum's fear when I was leaving for Milan was how I was going to cope with the cold especially the winter,a friend told me he would never travel anywhere abroad during the winter season because for the period of time he was there he had a really massive headache and he was sure it was because of the weather.God will help me.Well, let me go practice my fashion drawing.CIAO

God is Faithful

I really did not want to write this post,but it is a burden in my heart and if you read it ,i would just want you to pray for them.

A couple in church had announced a few weeks back that they were pregnant and of course the whole church was happy and we praised God on their behalf,as weeks went by, we would ask on the progress of the pregnancy,everyone was happy for them.

Last week Sunday,i got to church,and i heard some whispering about the pregnancy,wasnt so sure what it was,but from what i could hear,i thought she had miscarried,not so.It turned out that the couple had gone for a check-up and they found out that the foetus had a developmental problem,the cranial cavity had no sealed up properly,thus the brain was developing outside of the skull,meaning that the foetus would grow in the womb but would not be able to survive outside,they were advised to terminate the pregnancy.

In their words to the church they said:

"As some of you already know,we found out last week that our baby has terminal complications.There is no chance for survival.Our counsel was for termination.We began to work down that path,but God has convicted our heart that this is not His way.We have decided to carry the baby until God takes him/her.We know this will not be easy,but we believe this is the right thing to do.

This child is not our own...it is God's.It is His life to take, not ours.Psalms 139:16,"Your eyes saw my substance,being yet unformed.And in your book,they all were written,the days fashioned for me,when as yet there were none of them".

We believe God has determined the number of days for our little baby from eternity past and it is not in our place to decide when that life should end even if the end result is the same.Please continue to pray for us as we grieve and walk through this time God has appointed for us."

This was a letter they wrote to the church.The only thing i can say is that i have been praying and i hope you do.CIAO

MY MONTH

This is September,my birthday month and the start of a new era for me.I have been leaning on the Lord through out the month of August and believing that He would answer my prayers and i know He will.Though sometimes i feel like things should happen in a certain way,you get to a point in your life when you know you have to totally trust Him ,things might not make sense and it looks like all hope is lost but i know to hold on a little while longer.
School has started and it is back to drawing class,also will be starting pattern making class,can't wait for that.This is the opportunity of a lifetime and i will not mess it up.
The road ahead is not so clear to me but i will take every step with the assurance that He who brought me here will see me through.I will get to my destination.CIAO

FOOD

I am particularly happy today,why?,well i had been telling a fellow country girl that i was sick and tired of eating only pasta and pizza,i mean i needed some variety,no scratch that,i needed to eat a Nigerian meal,lately i have been perceiving egusi soup wherever i go,i know that's my minds playing tricks on me cause i am the only Nigerian where i'm staying,a friend for home even made matters worse by saying he would e-mail the food to me,that was hitting below the belt.
Well my fellow country girl finally had mercy on me(she had refused at first saying i needed to blend into the new society,be open and learn new things-food,culture etc) and took me to a market,the name of the market is AFRICA,ASIA AND SUDAMERICA.It did not look like much from outside but once i stepped in it was like entering the gates of heaven,i mean i saw everything even UDA(a spice for pepper soup),i was just walking round the store like someone in a trance,garri,yam you name it,and the prices are cheap,i mean really cheap,i will be coming back to buy,this is my little Nigeria in Milan.
Egusi soup here i come.CIAO
P.S
I am perceiving OWO AND STARCH now.

My Name

You know when i was in the university in Nigeria,a lecturer told us the story of how he had been in the US in the early 70's for his undergraduate and master's programme,among the things that i found intresting was the issue about his name,of course he had an english name(as we normally call it)as a lot of our parents born during that era had due to the influence of the churches they wey born into,so you had names like Maria Uchechukwu Okoro or Peter Chukwunonso Agu(you get my drift),well my lecturer said he always introduced himself by his native name and this seemed to be a problem because the American's could not pronounce it well,it got to a point where they asked him if he could shorten but he told them no, that he had learnt how to pronounce theirs and so they should his.
I don't know how that worked for him but i sure know he had his name mis-pronounced a lot.I am not going to bore you with the different variations of which i have had my name being called and shortened,some have even abandoned calling me my first name and calling me the first part of my surname which is a compound name and the first part has just 3 letters.I have even had someone copy my name and gone home to study and then come back to pronounce it very close to the real thing.(was actually happy when i gave him a pass mark)at least he made the effort.
My is name is not that hard,i wish my name was CHIMAMANDA,KASARACHI or SOMTOCHUKWU, then i will really give them something to learn,i mean they would have to pronounce it all,well i will think of a very conc name and then change my name and see how that goes.CIAO

I'LL KEEP PRAYING

Hi there,you know i woke up thinking today is Thursday,thats what happens when you are indoors all through,you kind off miss count,well i was surfing the net and came across a group that had won a reality tv show back home,i remember following that particular season of the show and really wanting the particular group to win,i think what really endeared me to the group was a song they wrote and did a video of,as far as i was concerned they had won before the finale with that song,which of course they did.
The song if you listen to the lyrics goes to show the never dying spirit of the Nigerian,we have been through a lot as a nation yet we still have hope that it will be better,i mean i just left the country some months back and being where i am,i just wonder why can't we get our acts right and start to make things work for us,i mean it just takes discipline and dedication.
If you have noticed i have not critisized anyone or finger-pointed at those we normally blame,the reason being that enough of that has already been done and is still being done,i open some blog or online forum and you read comments from readers bad mouthing their own country as if the international media has not done that for us already,the truth is,if you do not have anything constructive to contribute then just shut up.
There are people in Nigeria striving to make it a great place to stay,i am here because i need to study and i have met people from other countries who can't just wait to finish the course and head back home to their country to start practicing,well i can't say i'm that enthusiastic what with the power supply,security and all ,but i do know one thing Nigeria is my home and i have to make it work,we will get there,i don't know when,but we will definitely get there.
That's the reason why i love the song from the group' THE PULSE'.It is called SOTE,i'll keep praying until Nigeria turns out to be good.CIAO